Christmas Letter to My Grandchildren December, 2013

To my Grandchildren:

My Christmas wish for you and for your future is that you will be a blessing to others.    You are already a blessing to your mom and dad and to your grandfather and to me just because you are YOU, your own unique self.   My hope is that you will become increasingly sensitive to the needs of others and to respond when you see the need.

A case in point:    On Thursday mornings, I visit with a group at McDonald’s and a friend there excels in this sort of thing.   As you know, many older people gather at McDonald’s in the early mornings.   Linda is always quick to notice if someone who has poor vision is struggling to take the lid off of her yogurt or if someone who walks with a cane has spilled something and needs help carrying her tray.    Once she noticed the pallor and 
weakness of a gentleman who was having very low blood sugar and brought it to the attention of others who gave him juice to drink.   Linda is not a nurse or a social worker;  for some people, these traits are just part of their inborn character.

But anyone who sets their mind to it can be alert and aware of what is going on around them.   Notice people and what they are doing.   If you see someone struggling to find the sleeve of the jacket they are putting on, help them.   If someone drops their books, help them.   If a mother is trying to push a stroller through the door, open it.    Assist with 
carrying a heavy package.

If someone looks distressed, ask “Are you OK?”     Perhaps they will share a sad story. . .”My parents are getting divorced” or “I have to move to another city.”   All you have to say is something like “That sounds hard.”    If there has been a death in someone’s family, a simple “I’m sorry.   I know you will miss him”   is quite enough.
Sometimes just a pat on the back or a sincere smile is quite enough.

In the Bible, we are told to “Love thy neighbor.”    Small acts of caring add up to a message of love and concern.   Christmas blessings to you,

                                                                                                                         Grandma

Thanksgiving at Sanibel Island, Florida

Ben and his collection of sand dollars!

An interesting thought. . .

Those things about life which are not mysteries are unanswered questions.
                        Anonymous

Scouting Adventures

Our twin grandsons, Isaac and Jeremiah,  went on a three week summer adventure trip with their Scout troop from El Paso.   The fourteen year olds are working toward their Eagle Scout degree; the group took the train to the East Coast and flew back, but camped out at night and saw a broad view of America.    They each kept excellent journals and we were able to read their notes and reactions.     Living out of back-packs and scrounging together their complete uniforms for visiting Arlington National Cemetery and attending the July 4 ceremony on the Washington Mall  kept them busy.  Eating burned food cooked over a campfire and surviving with little sleep, they moved their campsite day to day.  Plenty of adventure, however, canoeing 61 miles of the James River and going over Balcony Falls.    One night they were unable to pitch their tents when they were met by security guards in SUVs who shined  search lights on the boys because they were too close to Camp David!    Any spare time was spent playing "Capture the Flag" or "Extreme Frisbee"  or endless card games inside tents when it rained.   Camped near Gettysburg, Jeremiah described a moaning wind at night which could chill the bones.     Canoe wars and "tumping" (overturning) on the river, touring museums and famous monuments - all added up to a life-time learning experience in 21 days! This fall, they are off to spend a week-end riding bicycles for 100 miles. . .

Excellent Advice

Rejoice always; pray continually; give thanks in any circumstances.   Thessalonians 5:16-18

Corrections to earlier post

I have been reminded that descendants of Mary Hetzar Mallman and William Peter Mallman also
reside in Western Texas and London, England!    Also there are great-great-great-grandchildren.   :)

A Visit with My Aunt

My Aunt Jo, age 96, and I enjoy a good laugh together.   Walking on the uneven ground of the
Arrow Rock (Missouri) cemetery, she used a cane to aid her balance.   When her daughter Gayle wanted to take a photo of us, Aunt Jo said, "Here, take this cane. . .I don't want to look old in the
picture!"     We searched and found the gravestone of her grandmother and my great-grandmother, Mary Hetzar Mallmann, who died in the early 1900s.   Our grandmother would be awe-struck
at the growing number of descendants from the baby son who was born after the death of her
husband, Nicholas.  My grandfather,  William Peter Mallman (the family dropped the extra n),  has numerous great-grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren in the Midwest and South.

If I could have tea with. . . (A Writers Guild Prompt)

If I could have tea with. . .

Recently I read Sonia Sotomayor’s memoir of her early years, My Beloved World.  If I could overcome my awe of being in the company of a Supreme Court Justice, I would 

like to have a cup of tea with Justice Sotomayor.    I would not expect her to say anything of a political nature or to reveal any of her opinions on judicial matters.    I was struck by the way in which juvenile diabetes affected her life.     She was eight years old when diagnosed.

Her family, dysfunctional at best, was completely devastated by the diagnosis and tended to dwell on her limited life expectancy.    Her mother and father could not bring themselves to give her the insulin shots.   She got out a pan and boiled the syringe and began giving herself the insulin.  She developed extreme self-reliance early in life.

In her book, she credits the diabetes with her development of an internal awareness

of her physical reactions and in turn, her sensitivity to the reactions and emotions of others.   How can we help children today develop sensitivity to the reactions and emotions of others?

Justice Sotomayor says that she was fifteen years old when she understood how it is

that things break down:     people can’t imagine someone else’s point of view.    To me this is a simple statement which underlies most of the problems of our culture today.

Can empathy with others be taught to young people?

How old do you have to be before you can recognize that “your personal background

is something better than simply a disadvantage to be overcome”.     Growing up Puerto Rican  in a housing project in the Bronx with an alcoholic father and a serious health 

condition  shaped her into the person that she has become.    I believe a rite of passage

should be for every person to look at the positives and negatives of their upbringing and 

give thought to why they are the person they are.

Too many subjects come to mind.   Affirmative action no longer exists.   Without it, she would not have had her opportunities.   Our nation would not have access to the richness of her cultural experiences.   I would like to ask her how she thinks our nation can work to have diverse groups of our citizens represented among teachers, colleges recruitment, law enforcement, in work places  and at every level.    Just as an individual’s personality is determined by these forces, so is a nation transformed.

A recitation of "Pied Beauty"

On Applebutter Day, my grandson Dominic Haug, age 9, reminded me that he could recite for memory one of my favorite poems.    Dominic, Luke and Alex are homeschooled, and their father has supervised the memorization of classical poems.     Reciting poems was part of my schooling, but an unfamiliar skill for most children today.

                                                   Pied Beauty
     Glory be to God for dappled things --
        For skies of couple-color as a brindle cow;
          For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
     Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls, finches' wings;
       Landscape plotted and pieced - fold, fallow, and plough
          And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim. . .
                                                        Praise Him.
                - Girard Manley Hopkins -
    

     

Applebutter Day Deja Vu

After 35 years of making applebutter annually at our house, Richard and I found it a great pleasure to
watch the process done at Kitty and Mark's house in Berryton, Kansas, between Lawrence and Topeka.  My grandfather's copper kettle saw service once again with their Catholic Homeschooling Group.    A wonderful fall week-end!

Introduction to a Life of Crime

We were out of town for the week-end.   Ben, age 11, and a friend were sent to my house to get a loaf of bread for Sarah.   Living across the field from each other, we often borrow food items.  The ADT alarm went off to Ben's great surprise, and he did not remember the password.   The phone rang and he answered it, "This is Ben Haug," he said, "and I just came to my Grandma's to get a loaf of bread. I am not going to steal anything."    Next the Sheriff arrived with gun drawn.   Ben said, "Aiden, you take the golf cart and go up to my house and tell my mom.   I'll stay here with the Sheriff."  Aiden lost no time in getting to Sarah!   All is well and they got the bread.

Contentment

Contentment Prayer

Lord, help me be grateful for

What I have, remember that

I don’t need most of what I want,

And that joy is found in simplicity

And generosity.               Adam Hamilton

Bumper Sticker

Honk if you love Jesus.   Text if you want to meet up.

Simplicity

I have had surgery three times in slightly more than a year.  Every time I am housebound and healing, I learn something new. . .get some new insight into daily living.   Hard to explain, but it is a kind of simplicity in how the day is spent.    I rediscovered a narrow screened in porch off our bedrooms.  The girls used to sleep outside sometimes, but it was basically unused for more than 20 years.   Walking with my walker there last summer, I came to appreciate it all over again and now I spend time there every day in my comfortable chair with books at hand and a cold drink.    In my winter recovery I observed a crystal sun catcher on a side table in the living room catching a ray of light and sending colorful dots dancing all over the room.    I took my tea to the sofa and enjoyed the light show most every day. During my last bout, I felt good but had activity restricted because of my foot.    I set up one end of my bedroom as a "studio" for quilting and thoroughly enjoyed the idea of myself as "artist".    Simple discoveries that have added to my life!

Summer Hiatus

Five weeks of summer company followed by surgery on my foot have created a silence on my blog!
I miss the youthful voices with their thick British accents.   One night I was playing cards with several
grandsons.   Silences in the game were filled with "beat boxing" - mouth sounds that accompany much
contemporary music.   After one strange sound, I said, "What was that?"   My youngest grandson said, "Fought".    I looked blank.   His older brother translated:   "Fart"     The
international language of boys!

At Sea on the USS Lamar. . .World War II

Lt.(jg) George W. Wiegers to his wife, Jo    (my uncle and aunt)

January 1, 1945

"I was looking at the moon tonight.  It is so beautiful.   It doesn't seem possible that 
it is the same moon that shines over you in Missouri, the one that shines over Berlin
and Tokyo.   I sometimes wonder if the enemy looks at the same things we do and 
have the same thoughts we do."

A Thought

. . ."an interior life will never be available in stores."
                  Lauren Shields  "My Year of Modesty"   Salon.com  July 1, 2013

Keep on the Sunny Side

My group of literary friends (called "Inspirtice") recently discussed "a favorite song" as our program topic.

I looked back to my childhood when I heard mostly country music on the radio and thought of "Keep

on the Sunny Side."    I grew up with the Carter family rendition; June Carter Cash made the song famous.

Ada Blenkhorn wrote this hymn in 1899 as her nephew was crippled and wanted his wheelchair pushed on the 

sunny side of the street.    As kids in school, we would hold our noses in order to get the nasal country twang

to sing the familiar chorus.  The message, however, is a basic truth of life - not always easy to follow.

Keep on the sunny side,
always on the sunny side,
Keep on the sunny side of life;
It will help us ev'ry day, it will brighten all the way
If we keep on the sunny side of life.

There's a dark and a troubled side of life;

There's a bright and a sunny side, too;

Tho' we meet with the darkness and strife,

The sunny side we also may view. (Chorus)

Tho' the storm in its fury break today,

Crushing hopes that we cherished so dear,

Storm and cloud will in time pass away,

The sun again will shine bright and clear. (Chorus)

Let us greet with a song of hope each day,

Tho' the moments be cloudy or fair;

Let us trust in our Savior alway,

Who keepeth everyone in His care (Chorus)

Inspiration from an old friend

Getting together with sorority sisters in Columbia last week, I spent some time with one of my former Alpha Delta Pi room-mates, Ronnie.    She told me that every Monday she texts her teen-age grandchildren a thought for the day to stimulate their thinking, and every Thursday, she sends a prayer to each of them.  A touching way to use the internet these days!

Five inch rain!

Watermill Road   June 22, 2013

Gives renewed meaning to the old saying "We'll be there - the Lord willing and the creek don't rise"

The state of women - Kathleen Parker

. . .Women are reaching equality as never before.   Certainly many struggle to keep food on the table.   But in the salons where luckier women discuss what women really want, they are reaching the traditional benchmarks of happiness - money and power - and guess what:   They're still not happy. . .

Of course women want wealth and power, but not at the expense of the things that matter most - equilibrium, inner peace, wisdom, heart and a family that isn't in constant chaos.

Research, which we prefer to common sense, supports that happy, well-adjusted, less stressed-out people make more productive and efficient workers. Men also, by the way, because it turns out men are human, too.  

. . .Ariana Huffington (at a conference discussing the missing thing in our lives) described it as that inner place of heart, soul and wisdom where few of us spend much time. . .
                                                                          Kathleen Parker editorial,  Kansas City Star,  6/17/13

The Lady Vols

Folks in Knoxville are avid fans of women's sports at the University of Tennessee.   The female Volunteers are almost always national finalists in their fields.   Recently,  the Lady Vols softball team made national news when they had to take shelter in a building corridor during tornado
warnings in Oklahoma City.    Annabelle,  three year old grand-daughter of a friend of my cousin Cheryl, remembered the team in her bedtime prayers:  "Please, God, keep the Lady Vols safe from the Big Potato. . .it is a long, long way from our house so we don't need to be scared."  Loyalty from all ages!

A visit with my aunt

My Aunt Jo, who is 96 years old, says she sometimes doesn't have energy to do the things she would
like to do, so she pretends that she is 75, and often she can get things done!    She sometimes  hears older people wonder why God has let bad things happen to them. . ."What have I done wrong to deserve this?". . .they comment.    Aunt Jo says she wonders what she has ever done to deserve all the blessings in her life.   In my opinion, the most attractive quality an older person can have is to reflect a positive outlook on life..

Celebration

Sarah called me from High Maintenance Beauty Salon where Grace Anne was getting her hair fixed for eighth grade graduation and the class dance tonight. . .another girl was there who said that the zipper in her dress wouldn't work and Sarah asked if I could come look at it.    I was picking up my needle and thread when I learned that it was the zipper malfunctioning, so I asked Richard to go along with his needle nosed pliers.  He worked on the zipper unsuccessfully.    The girl said she wasn't going to go to the ceremony if she couldn't wear the dress - all of them were wearing strapless formal type dresses, so it would be hard to substitute anything.

So I sewed Catherine into her dress with fishing line!    Nerve wracking indeed.    The best light was from the sun through the west windows and of course, it kept shifting so we had to move.   Meanwhile
Amanda, the hair stylist, was using the curling iron with an extension cord on her hair while I worked.   The fishing line kept coming unthreaded from the needle and my hands aren't as nimble as they once were so knots were almost impossible.   An incredibly stressful 45 minutes of needlework and as 6:45 pm approached and she was due at the school at 6:30 pm, we all got nervous.   Her mother was so appreciative and brought me Mexican food to eat (little time for that however!)     Several times she said to Catherine, "Oh my, you are late now" and they conversed excitedly in Spanish.

Richard stood by faithfully and we zoomed to the school so we could watch the ceremony.   No parking spaces anywhere near the school.    He decided to park at the end of the lot in an undesignated
spot and as he backed up, he hit the concrete barrier and smashed the fender.   At least, I was not the driver.   :)           Saw Catherine and she seemed confident in her repaired dress.    All's well that end's well.

The Cricketers: Bjorn and Thor

Writer's Block

For a number of weeks, I did not post on my blog.   I was prodded into action again by two or three
friends who asked me about my absence, and I was pleased!    One reason for my writer's block was that I read an editorial online with advise for bloggers.    NEVER put quotes in your blog, it said,
people get very bored with these.   As I often share thought provoking things that I read, I hit the wall.
Finally, I have decided that the advice-giver meant quotes like those frequently posted on Facebook.
Example:    "I am not dieting, I am just not eating as much as I would like to"   Perhaps I have paid too
much attention to advice. . .I will just write whatever I feel like writing.            

On washing hands. . .

In a May 13, 2013, article in Time magazine:    Paul Farmer, Harvard professor and infectious disease
specialist, is asked  about the effectiveness of signs in bathrooms saying employees must wash hands
before returning to work.    He suggested substituting "Hey, wouldn't you like to serve other people by
not transmitting your skin flora to your diners' meals?"   (Belinda Luscombe)

Iowa Snow May 3, 2013

Window Tree

The day before the snow in Iowa, we sat at our breakfast table and watched this beautiful
Bradford pear tree toss and turn in the restless wind.  I was reminded of the Robert Frost
poem:

    Tree at my window, window tree,
    My sash is lowered when night comes on;
    But let there never be curtain drawn
    Between you and me. . .

   Vague dream-head lifted out of ground,
    And thing most diffuse to cloud,
    Not all your light tongues talking aloud
    Could be profound.

    But tree, I have seen you taken and tossed,
    And if you have seen me when I slept, 
    You have seen me when I was taken and swept,
    And all but lost.

    That day she put our heads together,
    Fate had her imagination about her,
    Your head so much concerned with outer,
     Mine with inner weather.

Envy

A friend told me that her mother told her if she was going to be jealous of someone, she needed to be
prepared to take the whole package.  That changes one's perspective. . .

Tulip time in Pella

Five inches of the coldest, wettest, latest snow I have ever experienced!

I think Pella Iowa is more Dutch than Holland.

Deceived by GPS

My friend Nancy and I were deceived by the GPS lady on the route to Pella, Iowa. . .this road turned
to dirt before we finished the 10 mile stretch!

Navajo Reservation

We recently took a Road Scholar course on the Navajo and Hopi Reservations in northern Arizona.
One morning we sat around the central fire in a hogan out on the desert and a colorfully dressedNavajo woman spoke to us about their culture.   She  talked about a Navajo poem. . .

With beauty before me
With beauty behind me
With beauty above me
With beauty all around me
With old age, wandering on a trail of beauty, lively
It is finished in beauty.

She explained that to the Navajo "beauty" means the natural world, to be constantly connected to
the out of doors, open to everything that is going on around you and sharing those experiences
with others for a lifetime.

Carl Sandburg unpublished poem

                                                   The Gun

Here is a revolver.
It has an amazing language all its own.
It delivers unmistakable ultimatums.
It is the last word.
A simple, little human forefinger can tell a terrible story with it.
Hunger, fear, revenge, robbery hide behind it.
It is the claw of the jungle made quick and powerful.
It is the club of the savage turned to magnificent precision.
It is more rapid than any judge or court of law.
It is less subtle and treacherous than any one lawyer or ten.
When it has spoken, the case can not be appealed to the supreme
   court, nor any mandamus nor any injunction nor any stay of 
   execution in and interfere with the original purpose.
And nothing in human philosophy persists more strangely than the 
   old belief that God is always on the side of those who have the most
   revolvers.
                                      Carl Sandburg

Valentine's Day 2013

February 13 was my son-in-law's birthday.  As we ate dinner together, I said to the kids, "What's
special about your dad?"     His seventh grade son said, "He is still married to our mom."      His remark touched my heart.   By middle school, children have experienced the situations their friends face with divorced parents.    Blessings here which we should never take for granted.  

Reading

Normally, I feel that reading more than one book at a time is crazy-making.   However, it 

is January in Missouri and I am three weeks post-op and feeling rather low energy.    In February my book club plans to discuss Grapes of Wrath and watch the movie.    So to attack a classic work so monumentally depressing, I checked out several books from the library to vary the palate.    

I re-introduced myself to Steinbeck’s masterful prose, then read a few chapters of Double Shot by Diane Mott Davidson.   I love to pretend to cook and Goldy Schultz, the caterer who solves mysteries, held my attention.   Presently I am obsessed with food because of my diet of small quantities of soft food.    I am reading the grocery advertisements that come with the newspaper, simply to fantasize.   I got Tom Joad on the road to leave Oklahoma with his family and finished cooking by proxy.     

Next I made a vicarious flight by small plane with Anna Pigeon to  Isle Royale, a National Park island in Lake Superior, almost in Canada, on a research project on wolves, Winter Study.  I interspersed the Dust Bowl with reading about the frigid group of workers with only a generator a few hours a day and no way to leave the island.    One frigid night, while Richard was attending my grand-daughter’s basketball game and I was home alone by the wood 

stove, a wolf-dog hybrid ate a member of Anna’s team and stalked them as they attempted a rescue.     The coyotes began howling down by the creek and freaked me.   No more fiction by Nevada Barr until daylight hours!  

I could not handle the monstrous mysterious tracks in the snow or the burial of Grandpa

Joad beside the campsite that evening; scanning television, I only saw people being assaulted and tortured,  so I turned to another book, Just Kids, a memoir by Patti Smith about her years in the sixties with Robert Maplethorpe.     Tales of two hippie artists, living on the streets of New York City and eating out of dumpsters, were hardly cheery, but their creative adventures did not scare the wits out of me and obviously, they subsequently became highly  successful in collages, prose and rock and roll.  

On to California with the migrant workers; Grandma dies and Roseasharon’s  husband takes leave.    Patti and Robert find work for pay, rent a cheap room, read poetry and classics, dwell with drugs, sex, lice and gonorrhea and meet Alan Ginsberg, Janis Joplin and Andy Warhol.

Truth and fiction are equally unsettling. Time now for me to read a mindless mystery.But too much light stuff makes me feel as if I have had yogurt for lunch.   

In Steinbeck’s words, “. . .man reaches, stumbles forward, painfully, mistakenly sometimes.   Having stepped forward, he may slip back, but only half a step, never the full step back.”   

Eat, Drink and Be Merry!

I am savoring the taste of foods I have been unable to eat for three to five years!    Two weeks ago I
had surgery on my stomach (fundiplication) to treat severe acid reflux disorder.    A diet without fruit or
vegetables, spices, tomato sauce or chocolate  had caused me to lose weight, lose sleep and suffer.     I will be able to eat everything again in a few weeks; now I am eating small amounts of soft food. Orange juice, V-8, cooked carrots - all taste heavenly.   Friends have brought me flan and home-made chocolate pie.   How we take for granted these wonderful blessings!  

Word for Today

A new favorite word for me:   "shambolic"   British slang for chaotic and disorderly.     My garage
in winter is shambolic!

Keep Calm

On our Christmas visit to our family in London, we saw "Keep Calm and Carry On" products for sale everywhere.    Apparently the motto was initiated during the London Blitz and was unearthed in the last couple of years and re-popularized as a slogan for today's world.   With typical 9 year old humor, whenever my grandson saw it, he would say,   "Freak Out and Panic" - also a slogan appropriate for today's world.